Great teachers, great courses, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy: The Theory of a

Great teachers, great courses, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy: The Theory of a Comprehensive Cognitive Behavior Therapy

directed by Mark Kundla, fl. 2015; presented by Debbie Joffe Ellis; produced by Mark Kundla, fl. 2015, Governors State University. Division of Digital Learning and Media Design, in Great teachers, great courses (Alexandria, VA: Microtraining Associates, 2015), 51 mins

TRANSCRIPT OF VIDEO FILE:

00:00:00_____________________________________________________________________

00:00:00BEGIN TRANSCRIPT:

00:00:00MICROTRAINING

00:00:00AN IMPRINT OF ALEXANDER STREET

00:00:05GREAT TEACHERS

00:00:05GREAT COURSES

00:00:10Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy: The Theory of a Comprehensive Cognitive Behavior Therapy

00:00:10Presented By

00:00:10DEBBIE JOFFE ELLIS, MDAM

00:00:10COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY

00:00:20DEBBIE JOFFE ELLIS, MDAM

00:00:20ADJUNCT PROFESSOR, COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY

00:00:20DEBBIE JOFFE ELLIS Hello, and welcome. My name is Dr Debbie Joffe Ellis. And today, I’m going to be talking about… and I’m reading it because it’s a long title, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. I don’t have to read that because that’s what I teach and that’s what I practice and it… so the way I live my life. Anyway, the… the full title of what I’ll be presenting today is Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy: The Theory of a Comprehensive Cognitive Behavior Therapy. I was asked to… to give a little intro to myself. So, I’m a licensed Australian psychologist and licensed as a mental health counselor in New York State. I have part time private practice, I’m an adjunct professor at Columbia University Teachers College where my late husband Albert Ellis got his Ph.D., more about him shortly. Umm… I write. My husband and I co-wrote umm… books at the end of his life and I’m working on completing a few other manuscripts that we started work on before his passing. And, I… articles some reviews. And as… as I already indicated, to me REBT, which is what from this point on I’ll call Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, is not only an effective evidence based theory and therapeutic approach, but it’s also a way of life. It’s imbued with a philosophy, encouraging loving kindness and unconditional acceptance. And it brings me great joy to present to you and members of the audience today. So REBT is the pioneering and foundational cognitive behavior therapy. My late, great husband Albert Ellis created this and he gave birth to which… coming from his innate genius and creativity. And also the immense amount of reading and research he did from childhood onwards. And also, and this I believe is quite unique in terms of the formation of theories in our field. A number of the aspects of REBT are created from his own methods of helping himself cope with strong adversities that he experienced from early life onwards, childhood, infancy. Now, influences that came from his reading and research included that of his readings of… of ancient, classic philosophers, some of them being the Stoics, Seneca, Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius. He was very much influenced by Eastern philosophies. And in the… in the coming class, because we’re going to have a series of three relating to this marvelous topic. Umm… I say marvelous, you know, I’m biased, of course. But, I… I truly haven’t come across one that I feel is as holistic, incorporating the mind and the actions and the feelings so beautifully. I… I do believe it’s the most, if not one of the most holistic approach is in our field. In any case so Eastern philosophers, contemporary philosophers of his day such as Bertrand Russell and Dewey, John Dewey. He read the psychiatrists and psychologists of his time, including Freud. Well, in his generation, he was born 1913, passed away 2007. When one studied psychology in the 1930s and 1940s, Sigmund Freud was the Lord of that universe. And… And so he… he was studying and well versed in psychoanalysis. And there were some aspects in that he appreciated, but more about that later, the batch… Umm… Alfred Adler was an influence that he often acknowledged as was Alfred Korzybski, the creator or the… the founder of General Semantics Theory. So some of you who have read any of the writings of any of the above, and many more of course, but there’s some of the main ones. And by the way, you know, we… we have in this series three classes to cover an enormous topic. And so, I encourage any of you who are interested to read any one or many of the 85 published books that that my late husband wrote. Umm… He and I, as I said, co-wrote some, a more recent one is called Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, published by API, and that’s a very concise primer. So any aspect that I don’t have time to go into in great detail, I urge you to read more about. And there are 2,000 or more odd published articles that my husband wrote as well. So now I’ve already mentioned that in my view REBT is perhaps the most holistic of the various approaches under the cognitive therapy umbrella. And it’s unique, I believe in the world of cognitive therapy in two main ways. The first one is its emphasis on unconditional acceptance. And REBT talks specifically about three forms of unconditional acceptance. There’s unconditional self-acceptance, USA, unconditional other acceptance, UOA and unconditional life acceptance, ULA. Which… Which are emphasized now. My belief is that other approaches wouldn’t disagree, but to my knowledge they don’t emphasize them as much. And the second main way that I see REBT is being quite unique in the world of cognitive therapy is the precision and the vigor that it recommends that we utilize when we’re disputing our unhelpful, unhealthy irrational beliefs. You know, many, all of the cognitive approaches urge us to think in healthy ways and to change unhealthy or negative core(ph) beliefs. But what REBT urges us to do first is to zap the unhealthy irrational belief by disputing, by disputing and questioning the truth of the evidence for, the validity of the irrational belief. And after disputing that then creating the healthy new rational belief. And when we say healthy new rational belief, REBT is not for vacuous Pollyanna thinking, look on the bright side, everything is for the best. Everything isn’t necessarily for the best. However, it would be more realistic positive thinking along the lines of, I’m alive, I have my wits about me, I’ve proven in my life before I have resilience and there’s no evidence that I can’t get through this again. So healthy, realistic thinking, not Pollyannaish thinking. And again, the… one of the beauties I… I find in REBT is the determination to zap out the toxic stuff before bringing in the healthy rational beliefs. So… Al, my husband, Albert Ellis, and I will probably from this point on call him Al because he was my husband and I didn’t call him Dr. Ellis. Umm… Al brought forth his Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy which was originally called RT, Rational Therapy in the 1950s, and then some years later he changed the title to Rational Emotive Therapy, RET. And then in 1993, he put in the B, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy to represent what it is, this holistic approach, taking into account the emotions and the behavior and the cognition. So… umm… In 1956, Al first presented it at the American Psychological Association Annual Conference and he was criticized and booed for being superficial. And now as many of us know, the cognitive approach is the most widely practiced approach in our field. And following the presentation and emergence of REBT, other remarkably effective theories and approaches have followed which includes cognitive behavior therapy, cognitive therapy, acceptance and commitment theory, dialectical behavior therapy, positive psychology. Martin Seligman, the… one of the… the main umm… core creators of that acknowledges Al. Umm… Coaching, you know, coaching is so popular now that includes aspects of REBT and you’ll hear umm… motivational speakers and even angelical and evangelical speakers talk about it and some of the… shows I’ve seen on TV to my delight include phrases that are very REBT, that my husband came up with. One of them, catastrophizing, awfulizing, aspect… you know, don’t shoot on yourself, coulda-shoulda-woulda. So many of… of the phrases and words that Al brought forth are now part of… of our society’s thinking without… most people probably realizing the source of that. And that doesn’t matter. Umm… There was a show on Broadway called Trumbo and an Academy Award winning documentary which was based on that script called Trumbo which acknowledges Alice, the greatest humanitarian since Gandhi. And I could go on and on. So the influence of my husband’s work has spread, and spread, and spread throughout our field and beyond. And… as I… I hope you realize I’m passionate about it, it’s a joy to share about it because I feel that it can help most people more effectively, more of the time if they apply it. And it’s not a difficult approach to understand. And… And some people with more severe debilitating emotions certainly do benefit from therapy. But many people can read about REBT, people without such debilitating conditions. And if they’re highly motivated, help themselves. REBT was one of the first self-help theories to come out in the ’50s and ’60s. And so… Again, as I’ve already probably indicated it’s not only a great and effective evidence based therapy, and you know, cognitive behavior therapy in the work of Aaron Baker have done remarkable research. And their findings, I haven’t come across any which don’t also support REBT, which isn’t surprising. Since it probably, its principles infuses much of CBT. So, it’s not only that great and effective evidence based theory, but it’s also a way of life and living. So, now what I’d like to share with you will be the main aspects of REBT. And then share with you some of the history and development of REBT, then hopefully, there’ll be some time for your questions. And in our two future classes, I’ll be talking about REBT’s tools and techniques and also on being an effective and compassionate and empowering therapist. Okay. So, one of the main principles of REBT, I’d like to start by sharing a story with you. And it’s a story that takes place on a beautiful day. Let’s say it’s in India and two monks are going for a walk, an elder wise monk and a young novice about 16 or 17. And they’re from a very strict order, praying, meditating 18 hours of the day, vegetarian, do no harm, celibacy, very strict. So they’re walking along, this old wise man and young earnest, very seriously spiritual younger monk. And as they are walking, a beautiful woman is approaching them, and the young monk is looking away, you know, temptation. Umm… And the elder one is immersed in his state of meditation. Well, she comes up right to them and says, dear swamis, please, can you help me? This stream here, I know it’s very shallow, but I’m terrified of water, could you help me get across to the other side? Well, the young one is about to say, no. The elder one, without a word, picks her up, puts her across his shoulder, walks across the stream, puts her down. She thanks, and goes on her way. The two monks go on their way. Well, the younger one is getting more and more furious and after about 20 minutes he can’t hold in his fury no longer, and he says to the elder monk, Great Master, how could you do such a thing, pick up that woman, her skin against your skin, how could you do that? To which the wise elder monk said, young boy, I put that woman down 20 minutes ago. You’re still carrying her with you. The point being, it’s not an event, it’s not what happens that creates our emotion, but what we tell ourselves about what happens, that creates the emotion that we experience. The next main aspect or main reminder that REBT offers us is that when we think in healthy rational ways we create healthy emotions in response to whatever the circumstance. And let’s say, in response to adversity. On the other hand, when we think in irrational ways we create debilitating, unhealthy emotions in response to adversity or not getting what we want or getting what we don’t want. Now the main unhealthy negative emotions in response to adversity include anxiety, depression, rage, guilt, shame, hurt and jealousy. The healthy, “negative” emotions so called negative, not because negative bad, but negative meaning, they’re not that pleasant. The healthy ones in response to adversity when we think in healthy rational ways include disappointment, concern instead of anxiety. Healthy anger/annoyance instead of rage. When I say healthy, meaning that… that you’re feeling that surge of, but you feel in control, you are able to be steady and stable and choose what you say and/or do as opposed to rage or a blind rage. Umm… Sadness rather than depression, regret. So, there are some of the healthy approaches that… or emotions that we will experience when we think in healthy ways in response to adversity, something going the way we didn’t want it to go. So what are the different ways of thinking in terms of rational versus irrational? I’ll start by talking about irrational thinking. When we think in irrational ways which create those debilitating emotions, we have rigid demands, we should, we must, we ought, you must, they should, life should always. These very rigid demanding kind of ways of thinking and speaking. My husband came up, as I indicated earlier, with some original expressions and words, and… and one was with a U in it, musterbation. He would say, stop your musterbating, or stop shooting on yourself. So, when we think in irrational ways there are often these demands. There’s catastrophizing and awfulizing. Awful, in this context meaning the worst of it could be. And REBT reminds us that if we’re still alive and thinking, it’s not the worst that it can be. And when there’s life there is hope and potential for change. Another aspect of irrational thinking is the tendency to generalize, to say, you or I am good or bad. To mistake the essence of how we are and who we are with what we do. REBT reminds us what we do is what we do, it’s not essentially who we are, and it asserts that every human has worth, based simply on the fact that we’re here and alive, that we may do good things, let’s hope more people do more good things more of the time, and evil things. But according to General Semantics and REBT, which has incorporated this part of it, no one is good or evil. We do good and evil thing. So, umm… in irrational thinking we can tend to over generalize. Another aspect of irrational thinking is the tendency towards a low frustration tolerance or LFT. Thinking in ways like, umm… I must have what I want, when I want it, I can’t stand not having what I want, when I want it. And a… a final main aspect of irrational thinking is damnation of oneself and of others and of life itself. Now there are three core irrational beliefs from which I would say almost infinite other stem. And they are, I must do well and be approved of or be loved or be liked by everyone. You should treat me well and do or act the way I think and say you should. And life should be fair and just. So they are the main aspects of irrational thinking. And when we think in those ways in all likelihood we will experience one or more of those debilitating emotions. Rational thinking is the opposite. We have preferences, not demands. It’s important and helpful in life, it’s beneficial to have desires, to have goals, to know what we want. Now when we desire something, if we want something and don’t get it, we’ll be hopefully in all probability sad and disappointed. If we think we should and we don’t have it, in all probability will either create rage or depression or anxiety, how can I cope with this? So, with rational thinking there are preferences, there are wants, there are desires. In rational thinking, there’s high frustration tolerance, we remind ourselves, we can stand what we like, we just don’t like it. In rational thinking, we keep things in healthy perspective, we don’t exaggerate and humor often is a part of what helps us do so. There’s an absence of over generalizing and finally the aspect I’ve already mentioned, unconditional acceptance of oneself, reminding ourselves, we’re fallible human beings, capable of making mistakes and failing, doesn’t mean we’re failures, doesn’t mean we’re mistakes. It means, we’ve failed or made a mistake, we have worth unconditional self-acceptance. Unconditional other acceptance where we’re willing to push ourselves and sometimes it does require a lot of determined effort to remind ourselves that someone who has acted badly is like we are, a fallible human and in all probability, if I, at the moment umm… of… of whatever the incident want… was had thought the same thoughts that person had thought, had the same brain chemistry and habitual ways that the person had who did something bad. In all probability, with their history, with their way of thinking, with their chemistry I probably could have done the same or similar thing. So it’s not about oh, except when rotten things happened, yes, REBT is all for justice and fairness and doing our best to… to bring in consequences and resolutions that are healthy. But it urges us to do our best, to do what we can from a stable position rather than from rage or any other unhealthy emotion. And unconditional other acceptance is what helps us do that. And it does take effort at times and there have been people who said to me, Debbie, you’re doing a great job, continuing the work of your husband. But when you drop the unconditional love or acceptance, how can you expect someone who’s been raped or his family member has been killed by a… a… a pilot who may have been psychotic? How can you expect them to unconditionally accept others? Well, REBT doesn’t over generalize and say that… that you should. But it reminds us that it’s very beneficial to make the effort to unconditionally understand and accept as much as is possible. By hanging on to bitterness and blame. And my husband came up with this expression, by hanging on to resentment is like eating poison, waiting for the other person to die. It… It… It creates toxicity within, literally, physically, not only emotionally and can motivate us to act in an unhelpful way. But truly, the… the fact of the matter is many of us can forget that life is finite and we control our own emotional destinies, according to the way we think. And if we are willing and I know it’s possible because I’ve had great models in my life including my husband, who I’ve seen do it during very difficult times, I’ve practiced that successfully during very difficult times. I’m not saying do it perfectly or that you can or should. But to make the effort, to be more unconditionally accepting, and to say if a person with blindness stood on your foot unintentionally, would you feel enraged? In all probability, I would hope not. There would hopefully be even understanding and compassion for them having a disability. And in the same way evil doers are disabled. And so unconditional other acceptances is very much encouraged and urged. And then unconditional life acceptance umm… which I’ve already mentioned is umm… has that reminder that… that life… weren’t always go the way we want and some rotten things happen and have happened. But it doesn’t mean all of life is rotten and bad. So, umm… I hope that it gives you a clear understanding of the difference between rational and irrational thinking. Rational thinking will create healthy emotions and irrational thinking in all probability the unhealthy debilitating ones. Okay, the next main aspect of REBT is that with awareness we have choice. Now, if a person is brought up to believe certain beliefs as being the gospel truth, they may not know unless they come across the another person who tells them or read a book or… or heaven epiphany that they have a choice, they think the way they think and act is right. I haven’t been thought… taught to question it. But one of the gifts we have as human beings, if we know we have and choose to use it is that we have the ability to think about our thinking. And in moments where we’re watchful and notice that we are experiencing an unhealthy emotion, if we remember to do so we can ask ourselves, what am I telling myself to create this. And… And except the… the privilege of the responsibility we have in our own lives to create our emotional climates. So, with awareness we have choice, we have choice. Let me tell you a quick story that… that illustrates it. Once upon a time there was a nonconforming Sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter, however, the soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south. Well, in a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard almost frozen. A cat passed by and defecated on the sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end. But the manure warmed and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, and able to breathe he started to chirp. Just then a cat came by and investigated the sounds. The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird and promptly ate him. Well, the moral of this story is threefold. Firstly, even people who cover you with the excrement are not necessarily your enemies. Secondly, those who get you out of the shit, not necessarily your friends. And thirdly, if you’re in excrement, even though you’re warm and happy, keep your mouth shut. The point being, with awareness, in all probability we’ll make better choices about how we think, how we feel, and also what we do and what we don’t do. Okay. And now the next main aspect and contribution of REBT is its ABC approach, which is a clear wonderful framework that we can use to help ourselves, that we can share with clients, individual clients or in a group setting to help us really get a… a a very distinct image of what we’re doing to hurt ourselves and how we can un-construct what we’ve constructed to feel and act in healthier ways. And this ABC approach again you’ll find in… in a very similar way, almost identical way or modifications of in many other approaches in… in psychology and counseling and therapy. And good, I… good, you know, the more the merrier the more healthy people in this world and society the better. So, very, very quickly and again for more information you can read about, plus in my second talk in this series I’ll mention it again. But very quickly now, the ABC approach best done written down in the early stages meaning the early months or years and the more often you do it the easier it can be to… to do it mentally like, in your head very quickly. But it requires ongoing effort in the early and middle stages. So, the first thing one does after one is aware that one is creating an unhelpful emotion is to write down the A, the activating event, what happens that appeared to create the unhealthy emotion. Then one describes the C, it’s the ABC, but you go to the C, and clarify the consequences of that seems to come from the A. Primarily the emotional ones, but also if there have been behavioral ones. There aren’t always, sometimes it’s simply the emotion, but other times it’s the emotion and someone who stopped smoking will start again or… or eat too much and their diabetic and you know go back to… to bad, habitual behaviors. So, certainly it’s… it’s helpful to write that down. But, firstly the… the debilitating emotion. And then one writes down as many irrational beliefs as one can identify that have created the emotion. And you… you look for the shoulds, you look for the musts, you look for any catastrophizing and awfulizing and damning of others or self or life itself and low frustration tolerance. And then comes the disputing. I love that part of it, and I mentioned it earlier today. Where you dispute each one of those irrational beliefs, realistically, pragmatically, logically. You know, you ask questions about each of those beliefs such as where is it written? Where is the evidence for this belief? That’s being realistic. Logically, does it follow? Or pragmatically, where is it getting me to maintain this belief? Is it helping me or hurting me? So then after you’ve done that zapping that disputing, you write down your effective E, your effective new beliefs, your rational belief. So your effective new philosophies. And as I mentioned earlier, not umm… you know, la-de-da kind of over generalizing Pollyanna, but realistic, encouraging beliefs. That’s the ABCDE. Then the next main aspect which is related to the ABC approach is that lasting change and/or maintaining gains, therapeutic gains requires ongoing work and effort, work and effort, work an effort. And so it’s very helpful and important to do homework. If you’re doing self-help to give yourself homework, if you’re working with clients individually or in a group setting, homework. And in the next talk that… that I share with you, I’ll be going over various techniques and tools and home works. So, lasting change requires ongoing work and practice, work and practice, work and practice. All right, so now I’d like to share with you some of the main… I want to… aspect is the wrong word, happenings in my husband’s life umm… that contributed to his development and creation of REBT. And for those of you, who are interested there’s… there’s a big hunk of unordered biography called All Out. Umm… He mostly wrote it, died before he… he finished it, but I… I pulled together what I could find and also I wrote the final chapter. So, I only have time here to go into some of the key incidents umm… for which those of us who embrace REBT have much to be grateful in its history and development. So, Al was very ill from childhood onwards and had to spend long periods of time in the hospital. His parents rarely visited him. His mother was busy looking after his two younger siblings and his father was often away doing business umm… out of New York. And so Al, that little boy was often alone in the hospital where again, he was there sometimes for weeks, sometimes for months. Eight months stretches, 10 months stretches, some small… And other children in the ward had visitors and he didn’t, and understandably this little boy felt very sad. And he decided he didn’t want to feel so sad. And he came up with ways to feel less sad. So, he would read every book in the… in the “children hospital” library. He would talk to the other kiddy patients and to people who visited them. He would use his imagination and fantasize about what he would do when he grew up. He already started falling in love with all the pretty nurses. And so he found things to think about and do that distracted him from his sadness, and that’s a part of REBT, cognitive distraction. Not bad for four-and- a-half year-old kid to come up with, huh? He… He was born with the brilliance, he was a visionary ahead of his time. Anyway, back to his life story. Then moving forward, umm… as a… as a teenager he suffered from a debilitating shyness. Plus, he fell in love with girls, but was too afraid to ask them out on dates. Plus, he was voted president of a… of a political group and that required him giving talks in public and he felt very, very shy. So, he had read the work of… of the Behaviors of Watson and… and the indications in that of gradual exposure to that which you feared with the goal of not fearing it. So Al decided to push himself to do uncomfortably what he wanted to get comfortable at, part of REBT too. So, regarding the girls, he gave himself the homework of talking to umm… a 100 females in the Bronx Botanical Gardens near where he lived during the month of August, umm… reminding himself I can do this, if I die, I die, I won’t die, let me do this, let me put… And he… he spoke to a 100 or more girls, made one date, she didn’t show up. But he got over his… his terror of talking to… to females. And then, regarding public speaking, again, he pushed himself to do uncomfortably, reminding himself all the while, I can do this, what’s the worst that can happen, you know, I can do. The worst that can happen is not the worst thing in life. I’ll go on even if I am a lousy speaker. Well, he found after a short while that not only was he less afraid, and then not afraid, but he had a real talent for speaking. So, that is the part of REBT, in vivo desensitization. He fell madly in love at the age of 22, 23, 24 with a woman called Carol. And she was about 18 and very kind of to him, exotic and appealing and… and he thought his life was everything with her and… and they loved each other and… and one night umm… he’d had dinner with her at her parent’s home, they both still lived with their parents and… and it was romantic and intimate and then she walked him to the door to say goodbye, it was late at night. And despite having just had a lovely evening together she said you know, I think we should break up. And he felt devastated, he went to the Bronx Botanical Gardens, near where they lived in and he… he writes in his autobiography, it’s one of the saddest times he’d experienced, one of the few times he… he shed tears. And as he walked around the lake he had an epiphany that it wasn’t Carol’s rejecting him that created his despondency and depression, but he’s demanding that she should love him as much as he loved her, that he could never, this over general, and never be happy without her in his life. And he reasoned with himself that even if he never was as happy with anyone else as he might have been with her that he still could look for and find meaning and some of a happiness in his life. And that there was no evidence that just because he adored her, she should adore him just as much. There was no evidence for that. And so that as I hope, you’ve already heard me say, it’s such a co-part of REBT and Karen Horney also came up with this expression the “tyranny of the shoulds”, and Al has incorporated that into the REBT approach, that it’s the shoulds and the over generalizing that creates our disturbing emotions, not the events. So, that was very interesting. A fast forward to the end of his life, you know, in the middle he wrote prolifically, had a flourishing institute, transform the lives of countless people I still get letters and emails from people. Letter, little paper, letters and e-mails, saying how he saved their lives, he changed their life, his work did. And umm… And so it was… I’ve indicated, it changed the world of psychology, Al was one of the first to challenge Freud by saying, spending too much time looking at your past is inefficient. It’s more important to take responsibility and see what we’re doing now to create our debilitating emotions now. So anyway, umm… flourishing middle period, I don’t have time to go to details, but at the end of his life the master was tested. Some very difficult things happened within his institute. It was the saddest period of his life. He was stopped from working in his own institute, kicked off the board of the institute, though a judge reinstated him saying, what had happened was disingenuous. But he was never allowed to again work in his institute. Didn’t stop us, we rented a room next door, we carried on. He succumbed to pneumonia and survived for another 15 months in hospital, rehab hospital, fighting to get better. But he would have a relapse, he was in his 90s. And yet, even in the hospital and… and… and rehab, he would have students come and people come and do his best, even though he was in pain, literally, his body was a torture chamber and weak, but he would continue to contribute. Well, at the very end, the saddest period of his life, he knew his health was not going to improve, he knew he would not get any power back or control of his former institute. He didn’t want to die, he didn’t want to leave me, he didn’t leave me without him. Sad, sad, sad. Did the master practice what he preached? Yes. Every day he… we, despite all those things that were very difficult, we focused on what still was good and that was the love between us. We would hold each other, we would stroke each other. And it was the saddest time in his life, but he didn’t succumb to depression nor rage. He hated what some of the people in his work environment did, but he didn’t hate them. The master practiced what he preached. And because of that, in the saddest period of his life, he still could appreciate love and positivity and not be drowned in depression or rage. He practiced what he preached. So, I’m going to stop now, much more information in our coming two classes. And I’d like to take our final minutes to give you time to ask me any questions. Who’d like to start?

00:44:45UNKNOWN I was interested in finding out if REBT has been found to be effective with couples and families?

00:44:50DEBBIE JOFFE ELLIS Well almost, definitely so, yeah. Now, at times it can be helpful for individuals in a couple or individuals in a family to get some individual therapy and then come together. But if they choose not to or if it’s not possible for any reason, change happens when a person is motivated to make change. A therapist can’t do it for you, they can lead you, guide you, encourage you, give you homework, give you tools, but ultimately if there’s to be change it requires willingness and action. Not even just contemplating, contemplating in a healthy way and action. And so there… there are… there’s research showing the efficacy, Al writes about it in many, many of his books. And REBT is successfully used in… in couples and family therapy. If we had more time, I’d say more now, but the short answer is yes, indeed.

00:46:00UNKNOWN Thank you.

00:46:00DEBBIE JOFFE ELLIS Next question. Yes.

00:46:00UNKNOWN You spoke earlier about in vivo desensitization and I was wondering, how do you encourage or convince clients to really engage in their fears.

00:46:15DEBBIE JOFFE ELLIS Well, we discourage clients to umm… succumb to the thinking that creates the fears, sometimes by reminding them that “spoiler alert” life is finite. And it’s up to you, do you want to suffer like this for the rest of your life? It’s up to you. Now there are ways I can suggest that you try in order to feel this fear. And again, you know one chooses as a therapist the… the homework that one gives. And one may suggest baby steps. But how one encourages a person? Is to reminder of the bigger picture and the possibility of living a happier life in this one life they have. So, umm… you know, an example, quick example, and then we have a final question. Someone suffering from shyness and social anxiety, who wants to change because they don’t want to suffer, Like Al, he wants to ask a girl out on a date. So I might give the homework of saying hello to a stranger once a week in Starbucks or wherever they get coffee. And the next session, I’ll ask, how did you go? And if they didn’t do it, we’ll go over, what were you telling yourself to stop yourself from doing it? When I suggest homework, I also say or ask, is this doable? And if they say, I don’t know if that’s realistic? I’ll say, how about once every two weeks you talk to them. So the baby steps. But the short answer to your question, how you get them to face their fears and… and work on not having them, is to remind them of what’s possible and that it’s doable. Give examples, other people have, now if you work on it, you might have a relapse, but you too can overcome this if you make the effort. Thank you. Final question.

00:48:15UNKNOWN Yes. I understand that REBT really prefers clients to be able to think in a way that is rational or in reality. Does it… Is it effective with people who may have a psychosis or really severe mental illnesses?

00:48:30DEBBIE JOFFE ELLIS Yes. Yes to the second half. It’s not that REBT prefers clients who are thinking in rational ways. We notice that people who are able and willing to think in rational ways benefit more quickly, more easily because they comprehend and understand. But… not but, and it has been and is very successful for people with… with deep emotional disturbances and psychosis. If they are willing to at least comprehend some of the aspects and make some effort. Now, appropriate medication may be required to bring about the chemical balance and stability to enable such people to understand. But when that has been achieved, that’s only one wing of a flying bird. For full, I believe empowerment to the person. Then their action within their healing process is helpful by giving them homework and having them make steps. Worked with umm… people with multiple personality disorder, for example, and on medication, they have a comprehension. And one of the main things that’s encourage is unconditional self-acceptance. But, yes, you may have a disability, but you have as much worth as any other human with or without their disability just because you’re alive. You know, OCD umm… borderline, other conditions take more time. And it’s helpful for therapist to keep the client as motivated as possible to not give up and keep making effort. So, REBT embraces anyone and everyone of any emotional condition or state, emotional, physical, mental umm… and hopes, hopes, hopes that as many people as possible will embrace whatever potential they have to think in ways that will create greater joy and minimize suffering in life. Thank you for your really good questions. To be continued.

00:50:55Alexander Street

00:50:55This program has been made possible as a collaborative effort between Governors State University and the Alexander Street

00:50:55Executive Producers:

00:50:55Taney Shondel

00:50:55Shannon Dermer

00:50:55Presenter:

00:50:55Debbie Joffe Ellis, MDAM

00:50:55Adjunct Professor, Columbia University

00:50:55Produced by:

00:50:55Governors State University

00:50:55Digital Learning and Media Design

00:50:55Department Director:

00:50:55Charles Nolley

00:50:55Video Producer/Director:

00:50:55Mark Kundla

00:50:55Video Editor:

00:50:55Mark Kundla

00:50:55Video Engineers:

00:50:55Heather Penn

00:50:55Arika Rogers

00:50:55Audio:

00:50:55Jack Mulder

00:50:55S. Patrick McCarthy

00:50:55Graphic Design:

00:50:55Amanda Zaija

00:50:55Camera Operators:

00:50:55Cherish Brown

00:50:55Levilyn Chriss

00:50:55Nikki Daily

00:50:55Kim Hudson

00:50:55Felice Kimbrew

00:50:55Jon Tullos

00:50:55Alexander Street

00:50:55© 2015

00:51:20END TRANSCRIPT