Assignment 1: Critical Reflection Paper

Part A: 2 pages. Look back to your first discussion post for class. You likely described your beliefs about forgiveness primarily through the lens of one of the main perspectives: Psychological, Relational, Spiritual, or Philosophical.

Through which perspective were you primarily viewing Forgiveness? (Provide specific ties between what you wrote and material from your text or peer-reviewed articles to explain your perspective.)

Did you support – unknowingly – some of the common myths about forgiveness? Which ones?

Now, describe detail from class texts that have broadened your view of forgiveness to include the other perspectives.

Part B: 1-2 pages. Describe how forgiveness (or lack of forgiveness) has touched your own life. To the extent that you feel comfortable, describe what misunderstandings of forgiveness and what interpersonal challenges have affected forgiveness in your life. Moving forward, how might you specifically facilitate Forgiveness in your family and community? 

Part C: 1-2 pages. In your view, how is the Community Work for this class related to forgiveness? Make specific ties to the psychological, relational, philosophical and spiritual components of forgiveness, as appropriate, and consider connections to some of the films and videos shared in this course.

Part D: Reflection

You will need 20-30 minutes for this activity and assignment.

Look over all four of your Community Work Reflections. Over the next 20-30 minutes, write a two-three-page, double spaced, synthesis reflection addressing:

What was this entire experience like for you? Note in particular what you liked or found easy, and what you didn’t like or found challenging.

Did you notice any patterns in yourself (e.g., things you think about repeatedly) across the duration of the entire assignment?

How has this entire experience influenced your personal perspective on compassion, forgiveness?

What questions has this experience brought up in you?

PART A

My Discussion Point week 1

Hello everyone,

I think forgiveness is part of the process of healing and letting go of the past. I think learning to forgive lessens the amount of hurt, anger, stress and depression that people experience. People who forgive also become more hopeful, optimistic and compassionate and have enhanced conflict resolution skills. The act of forgiveness also increases energy and overall well-being. It’s just not for the person but also for yourself. It takes the emotional distress what you have been going through at helps rids you from it. Sometimes it’s really hard to forgive someone, especially when you think someone has done something unforgivable. This has been evident in my life. If forgive a friend for something they have done wrong then others think that I am “being walked over”. This is not how I see it. I think that if a person realizes that they have made a mistake and they plan to not do it again then why not forgive them? Forgiveness is essential to all relationships. But it is not unconditional. It comes with the tacit understanding that if the hurtful behavior happens too many times, forgiveness is revoked and the relationship will end. Choice is always present in forgiveness. I believe to withhold forgiveness it to choose to remain the victim. We must always remember that we have the choice. You do it for you, not for the others. Just because you choose to forgive does not mean you have to stay in the relationships. The choice to forgive is only and always yours. The hurt won’t heal until you forgive. There is no future in the past and you can never live in the present if you are always stuck in the past. Your choice to forgive or not to forgive either moves you closer to what you desire farther from it. There is no middle ground. Change is constant.

PART C

COMMUNITY WORK 1

Breath Meditation Transcript 

Transcript 

[speaker speaks calmly and slowly]

This is a breath meditation, with very little guidance throughout the meditation. For the next five minutes or so, you can sit with your eyes either open or closed, whichever is most comfortable for you. Be sure you are someplace where you feel safe to sit for the next five minutes. This could be at home, at a bus stop, somewhere you work, maybe in a break room or lounge area. It could be at a park on  a park bench… But it should be some place you feel safe and comfortable. When you are ready, you may close your eyes if you are choosing to do that. Sit in some way that feels comfortable and dignified for you. For the next five minutes (with your eyes open or closed), simply focus your attention on your breath. The feeling of breathing in… the feeling of breathing out… You might focus on the sensation you around your nose, or the feeling of your lungs expanding and contracting. Or, if you like you can count your breaths. Breathing in and out would be “1”, in and out “2”, and so on, until you get to 10. Once you get to 10, then you can start again back at 1.

I will time us for 5 minutes, and I will note the beginning of our meditation period with 1 bell, and the conclusion of our meditation period with 2 bells.

[bell rings]

[silence for 45 seconds]

If you have noticed that your attention has wandered, which it probably will, you can return your attention to the sensation of breathing, or of counting your breathing. 

[silence for 2 minutes]

Just notice where your attention is. If it has wandered, gently bring it back to the sensation of your breathing or of counting your breath. 

[silence for 1 minute]

[bell rings. second bell rings]

END

Community Work 2: Attention and Love Meditation Transcript 

Transcript 

[speaker speaks calmly and slowly]

This is a partially guided meditation. The meditation will be a focused attention meditation on a particular phrase. I was first introduced to this particular phrase and meditation on it by Richard Chess, a professor of literature and language, at the University of North Carolina Ashville. The phrase is a variation of a phrase from a poem “Ars Poetica” by Constance Merritt.

To begin, I will invite you to find a place to stay where you feel comfortable and safe for about 5 minutes. And once you find that place, sit in some way that feels comfortable yet dignified to you. You can keep your eyes open if you prefer. You can also close your eyes if that feels more comfortable to you.

Just before we begin I will give you the phrase on which you will place your attention.

You will notice that your mind will tend to wander. That’s fine. That happens. When it does and when you notice that your mind has wandered – your attention has wandered – simply take a note of that and bring your attention back to the phrase.

I will begin our meditation with a single bell. And I will bring it to a close with two bells.

The phrase that you will focus your attention on for the duration of the meditation is:

“Attention is the purest form of love.”

[bell]

[2 minutes of silence]

If you notice that your attention has wandered, simply bring it back to the phrase, “Attention is the purest form of love.”

[2 minutes of silence]

[bell rings. Second bell rings.]

END

Community Work 3: LovingKindness Meditation Transcript 

Transcript 

[speaker speaks calmly and slowly]

Hi. This is a guided meditation based on some work by Jack Kornfield, who is trained as a Buddhist monk and co-founder of the Insight Meditation Society. The meditation today is a LovingKindness meditation in his style.

I would like to invite you to sit somewhere where you feel comfortable and safe. If you can, sit somewhere in your community. So maybe at a bus stop or cafeteria or recreation center or a gym; somewhere where there are some other people around but also somewhere you feel safe to sit for about 10 minutes or so.

Once you are seated, turn off your phone ringer and anything else that might distract you in some way. And, take a comfortable dignified posture; whatever that looks like or feels like for you. If you would like to close your eyes, you may close your eyes. If you would like to keep them open, you may keep them open.

I will guide you through the loving kindness meditation. There are some spoken instructions that I will share with you… And they will be interspersed with some moments of reflection.

I will start by facilitating this mediation with a bell. And I will bring our meditation to a close with two sounds of the same bell.

I would like to invite you to take about 5 mindful breaths to begin.

[bell]

[30 seconds of silence]

Continue to breathe gently throughout this mediation. You will have some phrases to bring your attention to, and some visual images to bring your attention to. But at any time you feel too distracted or forget what we are focusing on, feel free to bring your attention back to your breath and the sensation of breathing in and breathing out.

Now, bring to mind a good friend, someone who you find very easy to love. Picture them clearly in your mind: you can thing about their hair color, how they like to style their hair…. Picture their skin color and tone… the color of their eyes… picture them wearing one of their favorite outfits. And picture how they look at you in kindness. And with awareness of the following phrases, you can direct each of these phrases to this good friend who you picture sitting beside you or in front of you.

May you be filled with lovingkindness.

May you be safe from inner and outer dangers.  

May you be well in body and mind.

May you be at ease and happy.

[30 seconds of silence]

Now, pick a stranger in the room. Or maybe someone that you know, but not very well. If there is no one in the room with you, you can bring someone to mind that you might see on a regular basis at school or work… but that you do not know very well. Get a good mental image of this person… the color of their hair, the tone of their skin color… maybe you’ve noticed that they like to wear a certain article of clothing. You can picture them wearing this article of clothing. So get a good picture of this person, sitting next to you or in front of you. And with awareness of the following phrases, you can direct each to this person that you do not know so well. 

May you be filled with lovingkindness.

May you be safe from inner and outer dangers.

May you be well in body and mind.

May you be at ease and happy.

[30 seconds of silence]

Now, bring yourself to mind. It maybe that you like to Picture yourself as you are today, sitting there… or it may be that you like to picture yourself as a child. Maybe 5 or 6 or 7 years old… 12 years old. But see yourself sitting next to you or across from you. Get a good look at what you look like. How you do your own hair, your favorite article of clothing. If you have hobby or something you love to do, you might see yourself holding an object that you need for that hobby or activity. But really get a good look at yourself. And with awareness of these phrases, direct each to yourself as you are today or as you were as a child. 

May you be filled with lovingkindness.

May you be safe from inner and outer dangers.

May you  be well in body and mind.

May you be at ease and happy.

[30 seconds of silence]

And, now, picture someone in your life who might be a little more challenging for you. It doesn’t have to be the most challenging person in your life… you might start with someone who is just a little irritating for you.  Someone you just don’t quite get along well with for some reason. And bring them to mind so you can see them clearly, as if they were sitting right in front of you or next to you. Get a good look at their hair style, color, and their skin color. See them wearing something that they like to wear. And if you can, picture how they might look at you in kindness. And, with awareness of the following phrases, you can direct each of these phrases to this challenging person in your life.  

May you be filled with lovingkindness.

May you be safe from inner and outer dangers.

May you be well in body and mind.

May you be at ease and happy.

[30 seconds of silence]

So now I invite you to think of you all together… the good friend easy to love, the stranger or acquaintance you don’t know so well, yourself, and this challenging person. See all of you sitting there together. And with awareness of the following phrases, you can direct each of these phrases to all of you as a group.

May we be filled with lovingkindness.

May we be safe from inner and outer dangers.

May we be well in body and mind.

May we be at ease and happy.

[30 seconds of silence]

If you like, you can offer a dedication or intention, or recognition of gratitude to all four of these people and what they have taught you today about yourself and about compassion.

[a few moments of silence]

And we will bring our meditation to a close.

[bell rings. Second bell rings.]

END

Community Work 4: Just Like Me Transcript 

Transcript 

[speaker speaks calmly and slowly]

This is a guided meditation practice called “Just Like Me”. I am most recently familiar with this practice through the Center for the Contemplative Mind in Society, and experienced this practice myself as led by Mirabai Bush, co-founder of that Society. 

For this mediation practice, find a place where you feel comfortable to sit and stay for about 10-15 minutes; a place that you feel safe and comfortable. If you would like, you may close your eyes… you are welcome to do so, or you may choose to leave them open.

I will lead us through a series of phrases that we will be dedicating toward specific people in your life. And I will lead you through the whole series of meditations. I will start by ringing a bell. As the bell fades, just take the next few moments to be mindful of your breathing. Or, if you like, you may spend these next few moments in Centering Prayer.

[bell]

[30 seconds of silence]

Bring to mind a good friend in your life, Someone who is very easy for you to love. And picture them clearly… if you like you can imagine that they are sitting next to you are in front of you. Are they tall or short? Loud or quiet? What is their personalty like? See their hair color and style. What color is their skin? You may be able to see what they look like when they smile at you. You can imagine what they look like when they are sad.

Once you have this good friend in your mind, follow the next phrases that I will share with you, while keeping this good friend in mind.   

This person has a body and a mind, just like me.
This person has feelings, emotions, and thoughts, just like me.
This person has at some point been sad, disappointed, angry, hurt or confused, just like me.
This person has, in his or her life, experienced physical pain, just like me.
This person has, in his or her life, experienced emotional pain, just like me.
This person wishes to be free from pain and suffering, just like me.
This person wishes to be safe, healthy, and loved, just like me.
This person wishes to be happy, just like me.

I wish for this person to have the strength, resources, and social support to navigate the difficulties in life.
I wish for this person to be free from pain and suffering.
Because this person is a human being, just like me.

Now, bring to mind someone you don’t know very well. This could be someone that you pass in your daily commute to school or work or the store. Someone you’ve noticed… someone who has a schedule that causes you to cross paths every day. It could be a coworker… or maybe a family member you don’t see every day… Bring to mind this acquaintance. If you like, you can have them sitting in front of you or beside you.   Be sure to see them clearly… Are they tall or short? Playful or reserved? See their hair color and style. What color is their skin? Imagine how they might smile, or what they might look like when they are sad. Once you have this stranger or acquaintance visualized in your mind, dedicate your attention to the following phrases… holding them still in mind.

This person has a body and a mind, just like me.
This person has feelings, emotions, and thoughts, just like me.
This person has at some point been sad, disappointed, angry, hurt or confused, just like me.
This person has, in his or her life, experienced physical pain, just like me.
This person has, in his or her life, experienced emotional pain, just like me.
This person wishes to be free from pain and suffering, just like me.
This person wishes to be safe, healthy, and loved, just like me.
This person wishes to be happy, just like me.

I wish for this person to have the strength, resources, and social support to navigate the difficulties in life.
I wish for this person to be free from pain and suffering.
Because this person is a human being, just like me.

Now bring to mind a challenging person in your life. This does not have to be the most challenging person in your life. It could be someone that you simply don’t get along with very well. It could be an irritating coworker or a frustrating family member. Bring them to mind.  Picture them clearly… sitting next to you or in front of you.  Are they tall or short? Loud or quiet? How do they sit? Do they cross their legs? Hold their hands in front of them? Lean to the side? See their hair color and style. What color is their skin? You may be able to think of what they look like when they are frustrated with you… that might come to mind. You might also imagine what they look like when they smile. And what they look like when they are sad.

Once you have this challenging person in your mind, keep them in your mind, and consider them when we repeat the following phrases. 

This person has a body and a mind, just like me.
This person has feelings, emotions, and thoughts, just like me.
This person has at some point been sad, disappointed, angry, hurt or confused, just like me.
This person has, in his or her life, experienced physical pain, just like me.
This person has, in his or her life, experienced emotional pain, just like me.
This person wishes to be free from pain and suffering, just like me.
This person wishes to be safe, healthy, and loved, just like me.
This person wishes to be happy, just like me.

I wish for this person to have the strength, resources, and social support to navigate the difficulties in life.
I wish for this person to be free from pain and suffering.
Because this person is a human being, just like me.

[30 seconds of silence]

You may take a moment to express gratitude or hold an intention of honor for the three people that you brought to mind today. And you can thank them for what they have taught you about yourself, about them, about compassion…

[bell rings. Second bell rings]

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